I don't need you, Perfection

This afternoon I was reading to Elena. We were reading about Peter Rabbit and Jumper. They were going to school learning about their relatives. At the same time, I was trying to nurse Esther.
Esther started getting fussy because of her teething. We were only halfway through the story, so I got irritated that we had to stop.
I took a minute and stopped myself. I stopped myself from letting the irritation turn into anger. Then, went on to get Esther settled.
Elena went off to play with Vera while I took care of Esther. Within a short while, I was able to get back to the lesson with Elena. We contrasted the different types of rabbits we read about. Then, looked up photos of the different rabbits.
It wasn't the original plan. However, when you have multiple children, sometimes you have to go off plan. In the end, we still got our lesson in.
I've been dealing with stress lately. Some of it is trying to get more done than is humanly possible. The other part of it is trying to get things done "perfectly". I struggle a lot with perfection. This struggle can inhibit my ability to get anything done.
Perfection is also good friends with Comparison. Comparison likes to show up in my social media as well as out in the real world. Better dressers, better parents, better housekeepers... etc.
Even my goals list, I'm afraid, looks more like a copy of someone else's. I'll be going back over that soon. Some of my problem with my goals is poor time management. The other part is that I'm trying to accomplish goals that I don't care about. They are things that I think I need to do so that I keep up with what others are able to do.
Fear can also be paired with perfection. When you don't get something started because you don't think it will be perfect, that is the fear of failure. It's okay to fail. We weren't born knowing everything. We have to fail a little bit (or a lot) before we can get it right.
I think I'm going to have to write some more on perfectionism. But, another time, otherwise this post is going to get out of control with bunny trails. ;)

Outdoor projects roundup

Fall is here! The most wonderful time of the year! ;)
Our exterior is in need of some decor. I have the same wreath on my door from last winter :o
Our entry has been collecting random things and is looking sad. Here are some ideas I'm hoping to complete by next month. 

If we owned this house, I would be painting the door yellow! This wreath is a nice compromise. I also like the chinese lantern wreath on the same page.

I've been collecting jars for these fairy lanterns. 
These are going to go on our fence. 

Photo By: Image courtesy of Sam Henderson
I'm all about white pumpkins. I like the texture they added to this one.

I lOVE this from Lines Across. So many ideas... our porch may be filled with pumpkins. haha!

I also got a new light fixture for our porch (for $5!) 

What are you working on this month?  

September Goals

Time for a goal update! 

I did not do well. 
That's okay, though. I at least am working at some of these which is better off than where I was a few months ago.

Finish reading "An Unlikely Event", and "Orphan Train"
 I had a hard time getting into "An Unlikely Event". I don't know if it's because I kept getting interrupted, or I just didn't like it. I just got Orphan Train from the library, so we'll see how that goes.
I started, "Is Everybody Hanging Out Without Me", by Mindy Kaling. So far, I think we're the same person. I've also started a non fiction book, "Antonín Dvořák", by John Clapham. I thought it would be fun to read about the composer Elena will be studying this month. I'll also be learning how to pronounce Czech names. lol.

Visit Mt. Rainier (There's a free entrance day this month!)
Didn't happen :( I forgot all about it when we made our budget, so we didn't have the money for gas. boo. 

Actually stick  to our grocery budget... *ahem*
I did okay with the grocery budget, but we got many coffees and ate out when those things were not in the budget.
Commit to 45 minute barre3 workout sessions at least 4 days each week
Didn't do this, because I was full of excuses. haha. 

Have a date with each of the kids (one on one) once a week
Well. Elena got a date...

Get to sleep by 10pm each night, so we have energy for all of this :D
Still working on this. Sometimes I'm so tired I have no choice... Most of the time though, Jamin and I stay up watching our shows. That's the bad thing about relying on netflix for our tv. We can just keep watching the next episode; we don't have to wait until next week.

Work up to getting out of bed at 5:30am

Get a date in with Jamin
This happened!! Our wonderful friend Mary watched all of our kids for us, for five hours! We ate at Ivars on the waterfront and then rode on The Great Wheel. It was so scary and I promised Jamin it would never happen again. lol
It really is the best to just be with each other and have each others' attention for a while.

Now, on to new(ish) goals!

Keep working on reading books
Kill the coffee and eating out for the month
Commit to 45 minute barre3 workout sessions at least 4 days each week
Have a date with each of the kids (one on one) once a week
Get to sleep by 10pm each night, so we have energy for all of this :D
Work up to getting out of bed at 5:30am
Get a date in with Jamin
Take a break (each day) to just do me things

6 Ways to Calm Your Anxiety

By  Photographee.eu

Send. No, don't send! That middle sentence sounds too harsh. Okay, send. Wait! It sounds too goofy... I want to be taken seriously. Should I even send this at all? *sigh* Well, I have to send something, so this is going to have to do.
*30 minutes later*
They haven't replied yet... I probably made them mad. They probably think I don't respect them. Ugh, I'm pretty sure I'm going to throw up. 
*another 30 minutes*
Will the nausea ever end? Why aren't they responding? Maybe I should send another message to clarify more what I meant. Maybe I should apologize for that joke I threw in.
Whatever happens, happens. They probably aren't my friend anymore. Why can't I ever keep friends? What is wrong with me?

Sounds a little dramatic, right? This is a frequent scenario for me. And when I start feeling panicky and sick I do the following to help myself calm down.

Remove yourself from the situation
Turn off the phone. Step away from the computer. Whatever it may be. Just take yourself away from being able to check for messages or re-read what you sent (If that's what you're dealing with)

Distract yourself
It's best to find something that requires you to be active. Anything that can keep your mind from wandering back to your anxious thoughts.

Talk to someone.
Confide in your spouse or a close friend. Having someone on the outside of the situation can reassure you that you are just over thinking. Also, giving someone else some of your burden will help bring your own stress down.

Talk to your pet.
Sometimes we need to talk to someone who won't talk back. When I had horses, I would talk to them about my problems. They would just stand there patiently listening. And I could bury my head in their neck for a good cry.

By  Christin Lola

This doesn't have to be vigorous. Just going on a walk will be enough exertion to boost your mood.

Ignore the thoughts
I have found this one to be the most helpful. It's difficult at first, but with practice you can dismiss persistent unwanted thoughts. As soon as a thought starts to enter your mind, make a conscious effort to shut it down. You do this by changing the subject. Immediately start to think about something else.

Exercise for Stress and Anxiety

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